a deer amongst monkeys lost in chaos, a raindrop among clouds sugar-coated ignorance
i lifted my phone and scrolled, it’s a morning routine now, you know. i stopped at a picture of pixels glaring into my eyes, five shining silhouettes. i didn’t know the safe distancing rule applied to online chatting too.
a lump formed and i swallowed hard, my toasted breakfast churning with my strangled heart. who ever said that food always cheered you up?
then came the call that mirrored their beaming, gleaming, erratic smiles for a family picture. a family i boldly dared to think that i was once part of.
well, i laughed along, donning my mask of pleasure with foreign ease. yet the disgust burned, oozed, while i clenched my smile tight, heart dripping blood with all its might.
because sometimes (often), my dear, life’s no different without you i fear. once the entwined fingers and key-locked hearts, now but a foreign stranger’s smile.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
photo credit: charles etoroma, nathan dumlao
It feels like a day of frustration.