For a young, impressionable toddler, his family’s affection fuels his happiness; for an adult working overseas, a letter from his family is his only solace; for an elderly grandfather sitting in his rocking chair, a family photo is his sole living memory. To be family not only means to share similar – albeit vaguely – physical characteristics, but also to share common cultures, values and one soul. Our family is the mould of who we are today and the safe harbour that our ships are always welcomed to dock at, despite the storms. Despite the iron bond that connects family members, nowadays there are increasing reports of split families, divorces and unhappy endings, hence this timely reminder that family is a constant in our lives, because blood is thicker than water.
Family is love. Before we were ever taught the confession “I love you”, it was our family that nurtured this mysterious feeling in us. Love is like a secret that bears all the colours of life in a whisper, which hovers over a home, unknowing to its occupants. Storge, they call it. This familial love is a mysterious thing because different families have their own ways of displaying affection towards each other. In the Asian culture, the display of love is more subdued, felt more through actions than through words, whereas in the Western culture, it is not uncommon to end each call with a family member with an “I love you”. No matter what form it assumes, familial love is the first love many of us would have felt. However, it is curious in a way that this love intensifies when family members are apart from one another, in the homesickness of a child studying abroad or the longing a mother carries over her lost child’s death. This goes to show that familial love is unconditional and triumphs over any other relationships, situation and even time. Despite often taking familial love for granted, it is the one thing we hold onto whenever the going gets tough, because we know that our families love us, regardless of the circumstances. We know that we are cared, loved and treasured, and that is what keeps us going. Indeed, family is a cauldron of the purest love potion.
Family is loyalty. Patriotism is often glorified, but one must remember that before learning to devote ourselves to our country, we were first loyal to our families. As people who would want the best for our family members, we would never choose to betray them in any way. Instead, we protect and respect, taking pride in being part of our family. It is not unusual to be blinded by the proud smile of a mother talking about her freshly-graduated son, nor is a daughter calling her father a hero an unfamiliar sight. Familial trust and loyalty goes beyond the horizons of other relationships and our family’s pride and reputation is often not worth trading for anything else. This is ever more evident in the recent death of a Singaporean woman which revealed that her deteriorating mental and emotional health almost drove her parents to the brink of suicide as she never stopped demanding for extreme favours. However, her parents never gave up on her and sought ways to give her the life she desired, despite taking the toll on themselves. This is the purest form of loyalty portrayed, showing that our family’s needs and interests take precedence, compared to our own desires preferences. Family over self, as they say.
Family is history. With a long line of ancestors, our family’s culture, core values and history had already been shaped before we came into life. Each generation’s achievements, failures and stories are passed down to the next, along with the obligation to live up to the future that our past generations have left in our hands. Our family’s practices, from spending family time together every Sunday to washing our feet before stepping into the house and from watching sitcoms together to eating rice for every meal, have indubitably shaped us into the individuals we are today. The familial values instilled in us also play a part in determining how life unfolds for us. We may be swayed in our journey through life, but our family is a constant reminder to stay grounded and to be true to ourselves. From the Medici bloodline to the Lee ancestry, each family has their own unique stories and beliefs which define each family member. They say that we cannot change history, but our family’s history can indeed change our identities.
Our family’s blood runs through our heritage, down the spines of the family tree and eventually pours into us. By allowing it to circulate in our body, we carry the love and support of our home, the unspoken oath to care for and defend our family and the dignity and hopes of heritage. It is a blessing to be part of the family that has brought us up under a sheltered roof, that has provided for us with love, care and affection. No other bond can ever replace or come close to that between family members. A father’s warm grasp, a mother’s tender caress; a brother’s affectionate tolerance, a sister’s loving smile. After all, blood is always thicker than water. Always.
Photo credits: Jude Beck, Valentin Salja, Nick Fewings, Martjin Baudoin
Indeed, blood is thicker than water. Family is love, loyalty and heritage is totally apt. Our family is also our strength, our safe-haven and our pride; it moulds us to who we are.